I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
