Where is the hickey?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
