Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Enjoy the penises
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
