you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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