Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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