I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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