i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
