dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She announced her abortion via fbk
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize