So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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