Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
