i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
