I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
