would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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