I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
