i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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