if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
