Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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