you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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