her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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