matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
