just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
