I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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