Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
