Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
