Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
