his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
