I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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