I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
