dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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