i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
