My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
