Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
