im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize