Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
