How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
