yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
