I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
