i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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