Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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