Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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