i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
