oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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