Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
