just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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