Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
