Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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