what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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