You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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