Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
