we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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