kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Randomize
