hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize