The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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