Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize