if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
