Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
