dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
