i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
