you guys were way drunker than both of me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
