Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
