last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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