Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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