I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
