It's just like the Real World with babies
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
