I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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